Jesse D'amato and Nate's story
by MissDemeanours
Summary: I loved Jesse D'amato from In Treatment and I really wanted to find out more about him and Nate. So here it is. How I think they might have met and what might have happened between them.
1. Chapter 1

He pulled out his phone for the fifteenth time that night. 11:23pm, flashed on the front, he had no new messages, the rain pouring down thick and fast now, splashing up against the pavement and soaking the bottom of his jeans. _Where was this guy?_ He let out a weary sigh, he probably wasn't coming. He didn't know why he had bothered to wait so long. After all, it wasn't the first time he had been stood up. God, men could be such arseholes.

He peered across the dark street hopefully, searching out a face, before finally giving up and turning to make the arduous journey back home. Luckily, the nearest tube station was only round the corner. He didn't fancy walking much further in this weather. It was probably for the best anyway. He had a major basketball game tomorrow after school and he needed to rest up if he wanted to be at the top of his game. Any opportunity to be spotted was another chance at gaining a full college scholarship, not that he needed one. His parents were filthy rich and willing to pay. But his pride wanted him to earn it for himself. It was the glory he was after, never the money.

"Hey!" He heard a voice shout from behind him. He craned his neck round to see a slight figure running across the road, there appearance blurred by the onslaught of the rain.

He stopped and waited for the figure to get closer, where he could finally see him clearly. He was soaked through, brown locks plastered to his forehead, droplets of rain falling from them and down onto his slender nose, which rested daintily between his brilliant blue eyes. He had elf like ears and pale cheekbones that could cut through glass.

"Tallandblonde25…. Just like your picture." The boy was shivering as he spoke, his sultry voice felt overly personal considering they had only just met each other. Nate could tell the boy had done this before, even if he did look like he was about 12.

"You must be…" Nate began, unsure of how to proceed. He had never hooked up with anyone on the internet before. He'd never really hooked up with a guy before, for that matter. This was all new to him. New, and freeing.

"Viralslut" he offered proudly. "Pleasure to meet you"

Nate waited a moment, expecting some sort of apology for having made him wait in the pouring rain for over an hour, but it soon became clear that wasn't going to happen.

"You want to er… grab a coffee or something" Nate suggested clumsily, gesturing towards the livelier part of New York City with his hand. It was Nate who had wanted to meet in a public space. He was cautious, having heard the horror stories. But he also hadn't wanted to be too public. Nowhere where people he knew could possibly see him. He would never be able to do that.

"I didn't come all the way out here just for coffee" The boy replied, stepping forward so there faces were inches apart. "and neither did you" he whispered into his face. He was confident, Nate would give him that.

"Well, where do you want to go?" Nate asked him. It was pouring down, and they were in the middle of nowhere. Where else would they go? Nate's plan had been simple. Meet up, grab a coffee. Chat for a bit. See if he really felt that way. The way he had been obsessing about for years. Now everything was moving so fast.

"Follow me" The boy slid his arm into his and led him down the road, towards the station. Once there, his eyes darted about, before he dragged Nate into the toilet.

Before Nate even knew where they were the boy had him pinned against the wall. He pressed his lips up against Nate's and the warmth enveloped him.

There was an urgency to the boy, his hands wandering over Nate's torso. Nate allowed himself to hold the boy's waist. He could feel his slender body underneath his drenched gray hoodie. He tried to lose himself in the moment, but it was all happening so quickly. He could feel a panic rising in his chest. Reluctantly he pushed the boy away.

"I… I don't even know your name" He breathed out shakily, looking down into those brilliant blue, quizzical eyes.

"Don't go full fag on me, please" the boy whined sarcastically, his breathing fast as he went to press himself back up against him. Nate gently pressed his hand on the boys chest, pushing him back.

They stared at each other for a moment, waiting to see if the other would back down.  
"Fine." The boy huffed. "I'm Jesse" he told him sulkily, looking down at the floor.

"I'm Nate" Nate smiled at him. Jesse was his first kiss. First guy kiss anyway.

"So" Jesse began, elongating the word as his hands reached and grabbed Nate around the waist again"Nate, you gonna suck my dick now?" He smirked wickedly at him, his lips brushing against Nate's earlobes suggestively.

Nate felt his palms go sweaty and a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had dreamed of a moment like this for as long as he could remember, but now that he was here he had to fight every fibre in his body that was telling him to run away.

His body must have given him away because Jesse stepped back, searching Nate's eyes for an answer to an unvoiced question.

"Oh for fuck's sake. You're a fucking virgin aren't you?" Jesse taunted harshly, his hands releasing Nathan's torso.

"I…" Nate stammered, thrown by the bluntness of his accusation. _Was it that obvious?_

"Fuck" Jesse cursed again under his breath, having stepped away completely now. Nate couldn't help but miss the touch of his hands on his body. _So I am definitely gay then_. He thought to himself, thinking about how much more excited, how much more natural it had felt than all of the times he had tried to lose himself in a girl.

"I can't believe I walked all of this way for this" Jesse whispered bitterly, leaning on the sink, his left leg tapping frantically on the ground.

"I'm sorry" Nate offered honestly, playing with his fingers as he stared at Jesse's back. His clothes were still completely soaked through. He stared at Jesse's face in the mirror. Pale and intense. It was so fucking hot. _Why did I have to push him away?_

Jesse breathed out sharply, shaking his head. "It's fine just get the fuck out of here"

"Well wait" Nate began, not wanting to leave. "Can't we just…"

"Just what?" Jesse snapped "get a fucking coffee?"

"Well" Nate began, his nerve starting to fail him. "Yeah".

Jesse turned to face him, his eyes cynical "And then what Nate? You want to hold hands? Go for a walk in the park? _Talk?_ " The last word was particularly cutting " _Please_ , dude. You think I'm on hoeser for that shit?"

Nate didn't know if he was supposed to reply to that or not. Obviously, he had known that Hoeser was a site made for sex, he wasn't that stupid. What he hadn't realised was that it would be only sex. That conversation was deemed unsavoury.

"Okay. I'm sorry I led you on. I've never done this before. Now I know, it won't happen again. _Believe me_ " Nate held his hands up in front of him defensively, vowing inwardly to himself that he was going to delete Hoeser the minute he got back home. This whole thing had been a huge mistake.

"What? You have one bad experience and you're just going to give up on getting laid?" Jesse pushed him. _What is it with this guy?_

"Are you always this nasty to people?" Nate asked him, looking him over.

Jesse shrugged, suddenly defensive "Whatever dude, I'm not the one who's afraid of the big bad cock" He raised his eyebrows, grinning to himself. It made these incredible dimples appear on his cheeks that made Nathan feel a surge of heat within him. _How can I both hate and like this guy so much?_

"I'm not afraid of anything." Nate replied aggressively. "I just didn't want my first time to be in a fucking toilet with a guy I've never had a conversation with"

"You calling me a slut?" Jesse pushed him, anger flaring up and flickering behind his eyes.

Nate sighed. He hadn't meant to say anything. The words had come out before he could stop them.

"No. I don't even know you. Look, I'm sorry. I'm just... I don't know. I'm going to go, thanks for the kiss" Nate avoided his eyes, making his way for the door.

Jesse grabbed his arm, as he brushed past the side of him, and he looked at Jesse, whose brilliant blue eyes looked like they were thinking about something. He leg was still shaking like crazy, but the intense look in his eye had softened slightly.

He let out a deep sigh "Look, I'm sorry too"

Nate stared at him for a long moment. _He looks agitated. Is he always this on edge?_ Once again, Nate's mouth spoke before his brain could catch up _"_ I was going to grab a coffee on my way back anyway. You can come if you want."

Jesse eyed him nervously, before nodding silently and following him out of the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"So… you live nearby?" Nate asked him finally. They had walked to Starbucks in silence and Nate had ordered them both a coffee. As soon as they had sat down Nate had gazed on, hypnotised as Jesse sat back casually in the chair, tapping his fists together, leg still shaking, his eyes drifting out the window. _Is he nervous?_ The longer they had sat in the silence the more bizarre it had seemed to Nathan that they had actually kissed 10 minutes ago.

Jesse shrugged, throwing a sideways glance his way "Kind of"

"Well, whereabouts?" Nate asked, trying desperately to catch Jesse's eye.

Jesse cleared his throat, entertwining his fingers in a desperate bid to keep them still "I'm inbetween places at the moment" he declared finally, leaning forward and staring relentlessly into Nate's face. "My mum spent all of the rent money on drugs, so we got kicked out. She does that sometimes when my dad's away".

Nate felt his stomach drop to the floor. _Is he kidding?_ "Away?" Nate questioned, not understanding.

"He's in the army" Jesse continued, still staring with increasing intensity into Nate's face, challenging him, daring him to call his bluff. Nate didn't dare. Jesse's eyes danced over his body suggestively and he felt his body temperature rising.

"So where are you staying right now?" Nate held his gaze, even though it was taking all of his resolve not to look away. It was as if Jesse's eyes were burning into his skin.

"In a shelter"

Nate nodded slowly, not knowing what he was supposed to say to this revelation. _Is he telling me the truth or fucking with me?_

Jesse waited a moment longer before slumping back in his chair, tapping his fists over each other again.

Nate took a sip of coffee, letting the warm liquid comfort his insides. He hadn't realised how cold he had felt. He looked over at Jesse, whose coffee remained untouched. _The last thing that boy needs is caffeine_ he thought.

"It's rude to stare" He suddenly heard Jesse's voice filter through his thoughts. He didn't know how long he had been staring at him for.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to" Nate replied awkwardly shifting in his chair and averting his gaze.

"God, you know, a word of advice. If you want to get laid you need to stop apologising and acting like such a virgin" Jesse sneered at him, whipping his phone out and checking it randomly before sliding it back into his still soaked, skinny jeans.

"Is it that obvious?" Nate asked him honestly, his eyes wounded.

Jesses tutted, shaking his head, "You might as well have a neon sign above your fucking head" he shot at him, revelling in the other boys discomfort.

"Why do you do that?" Nate asked him. After the incident in the toilet Nate felt immune to Jesse's mockery. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.

"What?"

"Make it sound so terrible?" Nate asked.

Jesse stared at Nate's wounded eyes for a second before they suddenly flickered uneasily "Jesus, it was like, a fucking joke, you don't need to fucking cry" Jesse folded his arms across himself defensively.

"You're a real comedian" Nate replied sharply.

"If it was that obvious I wouldn't have dragged you into the toilet to suck my dick, alright, so you can relax! God!" Jesse snapped reluctantly, scratching the side of his head.

Nate glared at hi. They sat in tortured silence again for a bit, neither one quite knowing why the other was still there. Jesse was tapping his fists together rhythmically whilst Nate stared at him, trying to figure him out.

"How old are you anyway? You look about 12" Nate asked him, bitterness in his tone.

Jesse's eyes shot up to look back at him.

"Meow" Jesses purred, clawing the air between them with one hand.

"I love a guy who fights back. If you know what I mean." He whispered across cheekily, giving him a wink.

Nate felt the heat creep to his face and knew that he was blushing like a beetroot, as much as he tried to hide it.

"19" Jessie answered, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned back again in his chair. _Does he ever sit still?_

Nathan said nothing, maintaining eye contact.

Jesse was the one to find his resolve weakening this time "Fine. I'm 16 alright, so what? Don't pretend you're not still in school either or anything" he shot, folding his arms back in front of himself.

Nate felt relief sweep across him. Online Jesse, or 'viralslut' stated they were 19 which had intimidated Nate slightly. Finding out that he was younger was kind of comforting. Nate watched Jesse curiously. He had been so sexually confident that Nate hadn't really questioned his age that much before now. He had felt so intimidated before. But he was just a kid. Just like him.

"I'm 17" he offered, his tone friendly.

"And you've really never had sex before?" Jesse asked incredulously.

Nate shrugged, looking longingly into his coffee cup, wishing it would swallow him up.

"But you uh, you have kissed a guy before, right?" There was no sneer, no mocking in Jesse's question this time.

Shyly, Nate's eyes looked up and locked onto Jesse's, silently answering his question with his bashfulness.

"Oh shit…" Jesse retorted. Nate couldn't tell who he sounded angrier with. Nate or himself.

They were both staring at each other now and Nate felt like they really knew each other. He'd known for a while now that he was attracted to guys, but this was the first time he felt like he actually liked on in particular. _God knows why, he's a complete prick_ he thought to himself.

"Well, you should probably go catch your train. It is a school night" Jesse began, getting up to leave.

"Right" Nate agreed, getting up and following him out of the café, Jesse's untouched coffee abandoned on the table.

"What about you?" Nate asked him as he tried to keep up with his fast pace down the street.

"I've got to go find some action" he told him casually.

"oh… right" Nate said softly, looking down at the ground.

Nate stopped at the train station and he felt Jesse's own pace slow as he turned to face him.

"Well, this was a complete disaster right? You're probably be laughing about this for some time" Nate said honestly.

"You know, if you ever change your mind about that blow job, give me a call. I can be real, real gentle" Jesse smirked. Nate stared down at that intense face. _He's so fucking beautiful._

Nate didn't know quite what came over him in that moment, but he felt his hand rise up to touch Jesse's cheek, his thumb rubbing over the spot where his dimples usually were. Jesse's eyes flickered with surprise, but he didn't move away, and Nate bent down, slowly, pressing his lips against Jesses, letting them linger there. When Jesse didn't respond he kissed him again, parting his mouth to let his tongue slide through. He flicked Jesse's tongue in his mouth and felt a heat and sense of urgency rise up in his belly. It was only then that he pulled away.

"I'll take that as a yes" Jesse smirked before turning and ducking away from him and into the distance.

Nate watched his body grow smaller and smaller in the distance, until the street looked as if he had never been there. He stared down at his phone. 00:46. He had spent hardly any time with Jesse, and yet he felt like he was the one person who might know him better than anyone else. Sighing, he turned and ran to catch the train home.


End file.
